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Scholieren.be • View topic - Min verhaal

Min verhaal

Uit hier al je creativiteit in poëzie... tekeningen of andere zaken!

Min verhaal

Postby lejow on Fri 08 Aug, 2003 09:11

lejow
 

Postby VeNUs on Fri 08 Aug, 2003 09:53

"ahaa": disait-il, en espanol avec un accent portugais: "je suis mort, mais je me vengerai!"
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Postby Z on Fri 08 Aug, 2003 10:36

"Doris, let's play house. You'll be the door and I'll shut you!"
"I'll tell you in an other life, when we are both cats"
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Postby Charly_lawson on Fri 08 Aug, 2003 10:58

Ik vind je stijl te trapsgewijs gaan, net zoals Z zegt werk je dat in de hand door teveel de naam van je personage te gebruiken en wanneer je dit niet doet krijg je dan ook dit: "Hoe kon ze nu lol maken en leuke dingen doen met Lars als ze wist dat thuis haar moeder elk moment dood kon gaan.
Ze moest het Lars vertellen.
Ze toetste zijn nummer in op haar mobiel."
Teveel 'ze' he :)

Dat leest niet al te prettig maar ik denk dat je voldoende stof hebt om een leuk verhaaltje te maken je hebt er alleen nog werk aan.
Kvind het zoiezo erg leuk dat je het hier post, cool :)
Remember, remember the cocks of november
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